If you don't talk to your kids about astral projection, somebody else will.

The Buddha statue? I use it as a talisman to ward off Republicans.

When you get there you might find a Messiah or a mattress sale, you never know which.

His hair said to the world, "I'm in denial about certain basic truths of human existence."

Do it in half an hour, and it's a chore; spend all afternoon on it, and it's a luxury.

Does insanity come from the search for truth, or from finding it?

Tall fences make tall neighbors.

They say it's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness, but all I have is a blowtorch.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the kitchen... Banjo II: Dinah's Revenge

I was perfect once; it didn't last.

She spoke in corporate innuendo, where everything was a veiled reference to profit.

Mismatched beauty is still beauty.

Try as I might, I am yet unable to smell fear.

Once again through the eye of the needle!

Creativity needs ragged edges to nest in.

Wisdom is a poor substitute for youth.

If only she got as much joy out of her ass as they clearly do.

Truth be told, I was only in it for the elitism.

I had a dozen tequila shots and still I remember everything... I want my money back!

As he entered the atmosphere, he realized it was all her fault.

Love is a feedback loop -- mind the screech.

And so I hasten my farewell, never to return to these goat-infested harbors.

I mean, I'm as open-minded as the next guy, but there are only so many tentacles I can handle.

He spent many a year tugging at time's arrow, but to no avail.

If she could hold even that tiny piece forever, then she would never lose this world.

It's just an inescapable part of his existence to smell like that.

He is simply defending himself against the carpet's advances.

Art is the collision between accident and intention.

Your automated funkiness recalibrates my booty.

Imagine a wind chime rental service.